I Blog? Since When?!?!

Last weekend the in-law's took the girls for Saturday and Sunday like they always do for one weekend a month. We are so lucky to have family so close to watch them when we need a break. But I also have to say that you have to be open to letting others watch your kids, especially overnight. I have had many chats with acquaintances and friends who have difficulty having others watch their kids for a couple of hours let alone overnight!

Brian and I have always thought it is very important for the girls to have a special relationship with their grandparents. They are all still young and have energy to do tons with them. I also think it is important for the girls to be away from us and us them. When they come back home on Sunday from either set of grandparents house, there is always a few hours of tantrums and power struggles, but they soon subside and we are back to everyday life. If I could change anything as far as when we had kids, I would do it exactly the same. Is is stressful at times? Yes. Are we extremely blessed? Absolutely.

So what do Brian and I do on these weekends of being just a married couple without kids? Sleep. We love to sleep. I find that we do a lot of sitting around and not worrying. I think not having anything to keep us on our toes makes us tired because our brains aren't working like they usually have to! This weekend, Brian met Jeanine where we usually do and I stayed in bed. I watched T.V. and eventually fell back asleep. Brian showed up with coffee and we spent the next 2 hours talking. It was amazing. I don't remember the last time we talked like that.

We talked about Rory, the day he died, what it was like for both of us, what came after that and how we dealt with it and had a funny conversation about where we are going to put him in the yard. We acually laughed quite a bit about that because of how it sounded coming out of our mouths.

G: "We should go dig up that sprinkler head today"

B: "No, we don't have to. I have to move the corner head over because that is where we are going to put Rory."

G: "What?" (insert laughing) "That just sounded weird."

It was good for me to hear Brian relive and talk about how Dec. 19th went. So many things had to happen in the right order for that day to go the way it did. For Rory and for us.

I have started to think about him again a lot and I find that I am no longer crying. I am definately sad, but the tears don't come as easily. That being said, this is my disclaimer to the next blog I will be doing. I have recently written him another letter and for my own healing I need to get it out there. If you don't want to read it, that is completely fine. Like I said, it is for my own healing. Not to make others angry, sad or any other emotion that comes with grief.

Moving on...

We also had a lot of conversations about Natalie and Macie. We are already amazed at the little people they are becoming.

IMG_3545

Natalie has a lot of my stubborn characteristics which makes it hard for me to deal with her a lot of the time, but she also wants to please. She wants to be a good listener and can make anyone feel special when she wants to give them a hug. It is easy to see what kind of kid she is and doesn't hide a whole lot of her personality. What you see is what you get. She is shy at first but after about 30 min in a new situation, she is running around and playing like it was her own house. I am also amazed at her tollerace with other kids she plays with. Don't get me wrong, she is 3 and definately has her melt downs, but I have watched her try and work things out on her own instead of come crying to me. She is also a great big sister. Macie tends to wack her every once in a while, and after being stunned for the first couple seconds, she starts to laugh and makes a game out of it. I think as she continues to grow she is going to be a people pleaser and the kind of friend you want to have.

IMG_6406

Macie is a whole different story. But that is how it's suppose to be. I don't think we would have wanted two Natalies. Macie can be easy going but unlike Natalie, she doesn't show much personality in new situations. She is very reserved until she gets to know the people around her and this can take a while for her to get to know you. If you are lucky enough to see her with her guard down, that girl is amazing. She is funny, smart and a good listener. She also has a short temper and wants her way all the time. She is also much more physical than Natalie ever was. She has no problems hitting me, Brian or Natalie when she wants to play or when she is upset. We playfully call her Brusier, but in all reality I wouldn't be surprised if she tried out for the football team someday. I can say that I feel that there is something about her that people are going to be drawn to someday. I feel like she is going to walk to the beat of her own drum but others are going to wish they heard the same one. And heaven help the first boy who falls for her huge blue eyes. I think he will be ruined forever. 

IMG_6208